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Its been a while since I wrote just can’t find some time for myself to sort out thoughts and issues I am currently facing.Completed my Diploma in Maritime Studies from IMBM in Dec 2010.We got all the transcripts some time in Feb 2011.The college is offering a shorter(6 months) but more intensive advance Diploma in Shpping and Logistics with shit loads of exemption,reasonable tuition fees and the best part of the whole deal a gurannte place in the prestige Australia Martime College.AMC is one of the forthmost  authorities in Maritime Traning.NTU and Maritime Academy is not even close to AMC’s standards. They even have a few training vessels on campus and the facilities are great.Tasminia,which AMC is located is also a beautiful place, the scenery over there is just WOW,I don’t know how to describe it. In recent months, I have  been very furasted and edgy as I could not land into a job which I want. I can say I have been fucked over and over again by my own friends, talk about friends….sign. They just care about their own interests. Look this is the whole story. Friend No 1 ”Jerk, no problem one, as long as you have this diploma, I can make a job arrangement for you. In the end after I slog like a dog  for a year to complete the course, he couldn’t deliver. Friend N0 .2 ”Jerk come meet me @ Tampines assp,got a job lobang for you.This particular ”friend” is purely taking advantage of me,I drove all the way down from Jurong to Tam pines in 45 mins and talk.Less than 10 sentences and he ask for me a $50 loan.WTF man! he already owes me ard $2000 already,I didn’t chase after him for this amount of money which I think I am being very kind and generous as much as I could and yet he got the cheek to ask me for another $50 more,damn fucking thick skin,don’t even how to spell embrass.Up till now I have hit the way 2 times already because of this job,another friend of mine give me a contact Zack Marine Services,the GM told me he is now over stremght and can’t employ .That makes hitting the wall 3 times.Most of my classmates are already in the marine industry, so they don’t mind get Cs and Ds.they just need the diploma to take one step ahead in their career.My leads are exhaust already,due to this failures to land a job,I beame a real grouch, I throw tantrums,get angry easily etc.I am glad that cynthia understand my situation and is putting up with my nonsense.Oh yes,I forgot I have 3 referral from friend but all of them went into a dead end,that makes 6 times hitting the wall.Met with with some classmates last night,apparently 2 are already under employment for a pretty big company,they are trying to get one of my classmates in as well.Then the next will be my turn in there is any opening,this is my life line and I really want this job.Day and night I have been praying for divine intervertion,I really hope this last door will allow me in

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The Ultimate Loser

Yeah the title says it all.Is being not being calculative a virtue or a negative attritude?I really do not know.Some people take advantage of you fully when they know you are not calculative.They expliot you to the fullest knowing this is your weakness.I have a soft heart and I really hate to see people in misery so I help them out of kindness.I do not expect anything in return.However in the end,it all turn bad.I guess I am a person who care about other’s well being other than my own.Many a times,I would rather trouble myself than to trouble others just to get things done and what did I get in return Nothing…I was real sick and running a temperature and in my bed,at this kind of time,I expect my loved one to be by my side nursing me back to health.No I didn’t get that,she was out having all the fun she could with ”Chicken” and the gang.That didn’t matter to me,I knew that will happen becos I am together with a party girl,I chose to go this way and I am prepared for all this that will happen.Many a times we have fights and arguements that are real dumb and stupid,when I tell the truth I get it,then might as well I lie.I really hate lying especially to a partner,if that is the way to avoid a confrontation or arguement,I would rather lie.I had given in too much and let others think I am a pussy.At the end of the day,I know I am not,I just do not want any unneccsary trouble.

Nightlife

I hate clubbing I have grown out of it.I did it so much in my younger days till I am sick and tired.I am some what being force to accompany my girlfriend to had a night of fun at D8.It is noisy,rowdy and I detest it.I would rather be at home watching TV and enjoying a peaceful and quiet evening.Morever the music sucks,all that hip hop gaga bullshit music,it would not be so bad if they are playing some good trance.What choice do i have?I have no power to make decisions,she calls the shots,when she says march I got to march.what choice do I have?

This time round I admit I am facing the biggest challenge of my life,in 32 years of my life I had not met a woman I couldn’t smoke with friction.I have truly met my match and apparently I am dealing with a woman who has convince me that she has wits that far surpass me.27 years of age,she has not been in employment in the last 10 years and able to live a high and dry lifestyle.In the beginning,I thought she was just a leech then I slowly dig in and got all the information I wanted both indirectly and directly.What was I doing where I was 27?Yeah I was working my ass off that is for sure.I would be in serious trouble if I even stop working for 3 months,there are bills to be paid,living expenses this and that.However that is not the case for her,10 years she has not been working and just enjoying her life doing nothing.In terms of academic achievements and career,I beat her flat.Several times I have to ask myself recently ”Am I being smoked by her friction or fact?”The truth is I have been smoked by her once or twice.Besides wits she definitely deserves a nomination for an oscar,she is very good at playing dead and looking harmless in fact she might have  a couple of tricks in her bag.Even my folks are smoked  big time by her,we both enjoy a few things common like using swear words in normal conversation just for the fun of it.I never ever try to hide this to other people.Well she manage to do this in front of ”important people”,making others convince she was a harmless goodie 2 shoes,in actual fact she is quite a monster when it comes to swear words and her vocab probably has more than mine.I confess to her ”Don’t pretend to look like a pig when you are planning to swallow the tiger.” it makes some sense as she is born in the year of the pig.People think that pigs are harmless but a pig that can devour a tiger is not.Hang out with this pig and she will make you do her bidding.Whatever it is,we are prepared to go the long way and she is good at doing housework,very fast and efficient.This is one thing which I really like about her,her money management is even better and now she does all my accounts.I would rather she do something good with her wits and help share our future if there is one.You really can’t complain when you have a woman of such qualities beside you.

Last Lessson at IMBM

Yup that is it,the last lesson of the eight subjects.Next week,I will have to seat for a Chartering and Brokering paper.This subject is going to be a tough nut to crack.It focus mainly on voyage and time charters of sea vessels,responsibilities of owners and charterers in different types of charter.There are a number of formulas to calculate laytime,time allow for vessel to berth,resupply and load.If there is any delays,there might be penalties payable either from owner to charterers,depending on the degree of fault.The maritime law is govern by a set of rules mainly the UK law which we call Hague Visby rules,however vessels bound for USA is bound by other clauses as the states have not verify the Hague Visby rules.That is quite a pain in the especially when I was never good with number and memorizing large amounts of data.Well like it or not,there is no turning back,I just have to do my best and hopes everything turns out fine.

Captain Savio

I came across Captain Savio’s profile I am just doing a search for fun.My dear Captain Savio comes from Goa India is of portugese ancestry is a full time lecturer in the maritime academy in Singapore Polytechnic,did his Masters in NTU Maritime academy as well as an ex master class mariner and does part time teaching in the evening at my insitution.He is well qualified or should I say over qualified to teach a bunch of clowns like my class.I remember he was the lst lecturer I had when I begin my course of Maritime studies.The module was Maritime Transporation.I always love him because he was a Sea farer in his younger days and have many interesting stories to share about his experiences during his days at sea.Looking at his credentials,anyone would have thought he should be in his 40s by now.No man,he is only 34,2 years senior than me oh my god,I can’t believe it.I am ashamed of myself,I have achieve nothing to boost about till now.Now I am at the last module of my course and Captain Savio had to cross paths with us teaching us Chartering.The class calls him Captain Sabo because all of us screw up big time for our Maritime Transportation paper.He mislead us totally during the revision lesson, a very important lesson in each module because lecturers alway tend to give away tips for the coming exams.In this paper there is a 30 point case study focusing on channels and canals of maritime routes.Apparently he was telling us the Suez canal,Rhine inland river network,Panama canal and straits of Malacca is important.It is natural for us as students to ignore the pile of junk in the text and just concentrate on those he mention.Came to examination and we flip to the last page where the case study was.It reads ”Iran declare war with US and the Iran Navy is blocking off the straits of hormus.”Describe in your own words what will happen.I was think what the fuck man,straits of hormus,Savio didn’t mention a shit about this?I guess the rest of the class felt the same,we had been taken for a ride by Savio.In fact the straits of hormus is an important channel at the gulf where accounts for the crude oil we need.More than 70% of the world’s consumption of fuel is coming out from that channel.If Iran blocks it off,it is going to be a disaster ,anyway we didn’t know anything about this hormus thingy until after the exam paper and we search through our text.Since that day onwards we call him Captain Sabo.In general he was a good lecturer sharing his knowledge and experiences on found in text books and to think that he is not that freaking old afterall.My respect for him deepens that at his age he has indeed achieve a lot.

2011 closing in

I had almost dedicated the entire of this whole year to education apparently down to the last subject which is chartering.Looking at the time table 4 more lessons than comes the exam.I am all out to just shoot a 50 per cent pass and it would be more than enough,I have been getting Bs all year round and it is time to get busy at work.This will be the last year,like it or not.Get it done and over with.Head for my dreams on the seas in the Marine field,it is never too late if you are willing to learn.There may be some changes,institution is offering double diploma for those with good results.If that happens,it may drag until March 2011.Actually,I am not really interested.One Dip in Maritime Studies is good enough to score me a ticket in navigation on board a vessel.Another Dip in supply chain mgmt and logistics seems to be a steal for 3 months and 1.5k,but it is pretty useless to me.It depends on situation,if the clowns in the class wants to do this,I won’t mind doing it with them.There are some people who make it big in life fast and young,well luck plays a big part in life.Dreams are like destinations,some get there a bit faster,so not so fast but still get there.some never get there at all.It is like getting to a far away place,some people have a plane ticket,some people have a train ticket,some people drive,some people walk,some people choose to give up and not walk the talk at all. well at least I have a ticket by sea.It is slow but it still gets you there.My good friend Ryan told me something many years ago and I still remember it,”There are no failures in life,just quitters.”I read a chinese book about some very successful stock market wizard,I couldn’t agree more when he shares his struggles and experiences.”You must study hard but study the right field” That is true,I wasted shit loads of time on business administration/marketing and getting nowhere. ”You must work very hard,but get the right job”This statement is like enlightenment to me.What the fuck am I doing for the past 15 years?Just becos I wanna wake up any time I want and have my own kind of lifestyle.In actual fact,I get I want most of the time but not a lot of people know I have to work till I die cock stand many a times just to get the job done.Early mornings,late nights,2 to 3 hours of sleep or no sleep at all because you are so physically tired  that you are so worried that once you go to bed,you are going to wake up late and screw things up big time.In fact,I am pretty sure my job fuck up my 2 relationships of 4 and 5 years up,it wasn’t me.I seriously think I am a sucker to woman.They are sensitive creatures and they want a boyfriend who burns every weekend,Xmas eve and new year’s eve at work.No way that is too much,no amount of attention,presents and surprises can make up for this sort of bullshit.Having said that,I am delighted that all this will end soon.I did ask myself many a times.If I wanna work round the clock,I make sure that the dollars and cents is worth it.A dream realised is in the making…..

Is Tiesto Good or Just Shit

He is shit to me….No matter how popular he is

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Family Affairs

Not very long ago,I met my 3rd Uncle,my Dad’s elder brother distributing flyers at China Town MRT station.He seems to be a sorry state,old,broke and homeless.I took out everything in my wallet about $200.00 and push it into his pocket which he tried to refuse a few times before finally accepting it.I left my contact no with him and told him if any need arises please let me know.Pior to this,my sis also met him distributing flyers @ Raffles MRT,she also give him some money for food and expenses.He now rents a 1 room flat from the government for low income earners.As far as I can remember,my uncle is not well off,not educated and makes a living as a cabby.When I was a small boy,I was left in the care of my grandmother together with my uncle as both my parents have to work.When I turn 6,my parents finally save enough money to buy a small flat in Jurong East so I left grandma’s place and shift to Jurong East with my parents.I remember getting into a lot a trouble in school as my dad will beat the hell out of me,I always ran away from home and went to grandma’s place to seek refuge because I know my grandma and uncle will protect me from my dad’s cane as they dote on me a lot despite I was always in the wrong.Uncle also always but Mc Donald’s for me often,back then it is a luxury to have fast food

 

During Chinese New Year,I have never seen him because he is out driving taxi to make money during this peak season.However,he always have ang pows prepared for all of us,a few years back my dear grandma pass away which made me very sad.I did drugs at the funeral wake which my uncle clearly knew because I was behaving strangely.He pull me aside and told me he knew what I was doing and ask me not to try anything funny because if my dad finds out,he will defintely kill me.Shortly after grandma pass away,he retired after slogging for decades to support his wife and my 2 cousins who is living in Chiang Mai,he sold off his house and took out all his savings,amounting to about 300k.He went back to his family in Chiang Mai to reunite with his family.Just not too long ago,my parents,uncles and aunties went to visit him in Chiang Mai and what I heard if he has land,a nice house and has also rear quite a number of domestic animals for sale. In thailand,it is already considered a good standard of living.I was actually quite happy for him when I heard that,he really deserve to chill out and enjoy his later years.

 

The sad part is now he is back in Singapore without his family and totally broke.God knows what happen.He rang me up and ask me if I could borrow him $1000 which I could not raise at this time.I told him I can only manage $500 and also told him it is not a loan and he does not need to return it and if anything he needs I am only a phone call away.I am actually very disappointed and angry at the same time,it is totally evil for my 2 thai cousins as well as his wife to forsake their father/husband.I find it unacceptable,what kind of children/wife are they?They took all my uncle’s savings and chase him out of the house.I came from a family of Buddhists,all the way down from my grandparents,uncles,aunties,cousins except for a few cousins which I label as  ”betrayers” who become Christians.As a buddhist, we are suppose to take care of our parents for as long as they live because without them,we won’t be who we are.I really feel like getting some thugs in Thailand to go burn down their house or try to extort my uncle’s money back from his ungrateful children and wife.If they refuse to hand over the money,I will gun them down.I will take this thing into my own hands and I am already trying to contact the mafias down in Thailand to ”fix” this problem.Call me evil,I don’t care.They in the last place are worst than animals so ther is no need to  kind to such people.Don’t wait for heaven to give them their just punishment,I will give it to them.