Category: My life

TCM Treatment of Carpal Tunnel Syndrome





Carpel Tunnel is a tunnel that pumps blood into your pumps,if it jams up,your hands will feel numbness,no strength and for me difficulty to control the strokes of my writing.According to specialist at Gleneagles Medical Centre,surgery with a 50% recovery is the only way.This sort of syndrome usually occurs for people over 50.So its just my luck waking up one day and had this problem.I am now seeking TCM and Master Wong a 4th generation disciple of Wong Fei Hung is treating me.I am getting a 30% recovery after 5 treatments.At the base of my palm,three needles are inserted into the same point and 1 needle further down at the wrist.So its 8 needles on both palms.the pain,no words can describe,I am banned from carrying all heavy stuff and stop all training until further notice.The reason why I got into this is venting my anger on my wooden dummy,hit and hit non stop to the point beyond pain just to make myself feel better from the failures I suffer in my work,life and relationship.I have to rest now but I need to recover quickly go back to training so if I see that nerd on the streets I will break his nose and teeth for the injustice he cause me.I am not a man of violence but no way I can keep this lying down.



不久前刚被前女友梦华甩了,被女人甩对我来说其实不是一间光荣的事,我的朋友CS(不是他的真名)一番好意来劝我,让我心情好一点。他说他是局外人所以看的东西比较清楚,叫我不要为了像梦华这种女人当傻佬。他身经百战,玩过的女人有超过百个,所以什么五华八门的女人他都看过,所以他绝对不会看错。我有过几个女人,用两只手算还有甚,对感情比较专一,从不乱来,自找上门不带表我一定要。所以经验当然输给他。他提到了很多关于梦华的东西,都是一些很难听的话。他认为梦华不是个简单的女人,会用心计达到她要的目的,不着手段,见好就收。我是斗不过这样的女人,因为我重情重义所以被利用到自己都不知道。我知道CS要对我说的重点,就是不值得为她这样伤心。实事上我和梦华的事没有人比我们更清楚,我银行有几分,赚多少钱,梦华一清二楚,因为从头开始我就对她就是坦白,跟本没有什么秘密,也没有什么值得她来利用。CS不懂的是梦华是千金小姐,家境不错,从小就给妈妈宠坏,要风得风,要雨得雨,所以她不必打工也有生活费。银行户口有的肯定比我多,我从不过问因为这是她的隐私,我也不需要用到她一分钱。我知道梦华对CS没什么好感,因为他每次跟我借钱说要还每次都不受信用,我又随便不计较。梦华是看不顺眼,就主动帮我追,有一次还在电话狠狠鸟他一顿。他们对彼此的影像都不好,所以有些误会。梦华对我的心,我懂也很明白。我赚钱辛苦所以她不喜欢别人跟我借而不还。如果她有心要伤害我,跟本是易如翻掌,她知道的商业秘密就可以搞到我无法立柱,何必用心计。早上CS打电话给我,说她的女朋友,要闹上他家去找他老婆,让他家破人亡。我很早已经警告CS了,他是有家庭,别人的老公,孩子的爸爸。最好快点收手,咱草除根,不要浪费时间因为到最后是不会有结果的。失业一年工作不去找还学人包二奶,太不像话了。家用老婆一个人承担。我一时间也不懂该怎么办好,早就叫他不要玩火,他偏偏要。现在烧到手了,知道痛了。这个女人更不简单,每一次都恐吓CS说闹上他家不然就是,一哭,二闹,三上吊。连CS自己都承认梦华更这个疯女人比,小屋见大屋,比都不用比。请神容易,送神难。这个女人也是不容易打发走的,CS有用到她的钱,所以她不会轻易放过他。其实当他们的关系还没曝光,我和梦华早就怀疑这两个人不只是普通朋友那么简单,我有问过CS他说没有,既然CS 不承认,我们也不想多管闲事。当时我也说了没有关系,那是最好,不要乱来,你是有家庭的。我希望大家听我一句话不会错的,就是不要去玩弄感情,因为有一天感情会玩弄你。

What do you live for?

I was working at an event at SMU a while ago and I came across a display.People live for different reasons,some for good grades,some for their love ones,some for religion and some for all kind of reasons.So what do you live for?Me? Practically nothing significant,except for my folks and being the servant of the dog.The only thing that really matters to me now is MFO (Marine Fuel Oil) nothing else but it seems so far away and untouchable.Without MFO,my 2 years of hard effort will be as good as nothing then there is nothing worth living for.People who are happy want eternal life,People who are unhappy with their lifes wish for eternal death.

I just received the certificate over the weekend,the SS600 comes with a 80 page manual,I totally screw it up big time the last test.Basically the whole test is very technical and operational in nature.Before I even seat for it,a classmate of mine @ IMBM already told me it is a piece of cake if you are in the trade,if you are a layman it will be tough.An 8 hour crash course with an examination paper at the end of the day doesn’t make things easier.This certificate is a must have if you wish to be in the marine fuel industry.There are practically three grades for this certification ”sucessful”,”completion” or ”attendance”.There is a acknowledgement form which I have to sent back to the Singapore Shipping Association upon receiving the certificate,so I guess I come out of the exam on the tops.It took me quite some time to prepare for this retest,80 pages of standard operating procedures is certainly no easy meat for an academic like me.During the 1st round,I already knew I am going to screw it up big time as I practically hand in a 50% blank paper.At the point of receiving I should be delighted because I am already at the gate of the industry,finally one dream near achievement.I felt no joy as if it didn’t matter any more.This hard fought victory should not be mine alone,she was behind me all the time giving me the encouragement I need.She also knew how hard this test was,how I fail the 1st time,how important this is to me and how disappointed I was after failing for the 1st time.At this stage,I ask myself if she will be happy if she knew I did good this time.Yes,I am sure she will still be glad after all she still wanted me to do well in all things.However our positions are now miles apart and We do not share common goals anymore,that alone made me felt that nothing else matters.

Its been a while since I wrote just can’t find some time for myself to sort out thoughts and issues I am currently facing.Completed my Diploma in Maritime Studies from IMBM in Dec 2010.We got all the transcripts some time in Feb 2011.The college is offering a shorter(6 months) but more intensive advance Diploma in Shpping and Logistics with shit loads of exemption,reasonable tuition fees and the best part of the whole deal a gurannte place in the prestige Australia Martime College.AMC is one of the forthmost  authorities in Maritime Traning.NTU and Maritime Academy is not even close to AMC’s standards. They even have a few training vessels on campus and the facilities are great.Tasminia,which AMC is located is also a beautiful place, the scenery over there is just WOW,I don’t know how to describe it. In recent months, I have  been very furasted and edgy as I could not land into a job which I want. I can say I have been fucked over and over again by my own friends, talk about friends….sign. They just care about their own interests. Look this is the whole story. Friend No 1 ”Jerk, no problem one, as long as you have this diploma, I can make a job arrangement for you. In the end after I slog like a dog  for a year to complete the course, he couldn’t deliver. Friend N0 .2 ”Jerk come meet me @ Tampines assp,got a job lobang for you.This particular ”friend” is purely taking advantage of me,I drove all the way down from Jurong to Tam pines in 45 mins and talk.Less than 10 sentences and he ask for me a $50 loan.WTF man! he already owes me ard $2000 already,I didn’t chase after him for this amount of money which I think I am being very kind and generous as much as I could and yet he got the cheek to ask me for another $50 more,damn fucking thick skin,don’t even how to spell embrass.Up till now I have hit the way 2 times already because of this job,another friend of mine give me a contact Zack Marine Services,the GM told me he is now over stremght and can’t employ .That makes hitting the wall 3 times.Most of my classmates are already in the marine industry, so they don’t mind get Cs and Ds.they just need the diploma to take one step ahead in their career.My leads are exhaust already,due to this failures to land a job,I beame a real grouch, I throw tantrums,get angry easily etc.I am glad that cynthia understand my situation and is putting up with my nonsense.Oh yes,I forgot I have 3 referral from friend but all of them went into a dead end,that makes 6 times hitting the wall.Met with with some classmates last night,apparently 2 are already under employment for a pretty big company,they are trying to get one of my classmates in as well.Then the next will be my turn in there is any opening,this is my life line and I really want this job.Day and night I have been praying for divine intervertion,I really hope this last door will allow me in

Captain Savio

I came across Captain Savio’s profile I am just doing a search for fun.My dear Captain Savio comes from Goa India is of portugese ancestry is a full time lecturer in the maritime academy in Singapore Polytechnic,did his Masters in NTU Maritime academy as well as an ex master class mariner and does part time teaching in the evening at my insitution.He is well qualified or should I say over qualified to teach a bunch of clowns like my class.I remember he was the lst lecturer I had when I begin my course of Maritime studies.The module was Maritime Transporation.I always love him because he was a Sea farer in his younger days and have many interesting stories to share about his experiences during his days at sea.Looking at his credentials,anyone would have thought he should be in his 40s by now.No man,he is only 34,2 years senior than me oh my god,I can’t believe it.I am ashamed of myself,I have achieve nothing to boost about till now.Now I am at the last module of my course and Captain Savio had to cross paths with us teaching us Chartering.The class calls him Captain Sabo because all of us screw up big time for our Maritime Transportation paper.He mislead us totally during the revision lesson, a very important lesson in each module because lecturers alway tend to give away tips for the coming exams.In this paper there is a 30 point case study focusing on channels and canals of maritime routes.Apparently he was telling us the Suez canal,Rhine inland river network,Panama canal and straits of Malacca is important.It is natural for us as students to ignore the pile of junk in the text and just concentrate on those he mention.Came to examination and we flip to the last page where the case study was.It reads ”Iran declare war with US and the Iran Navy is blocking off the straits of hormus.”Describe in your own words what will happen.I was think what the fuck man,straits of hormus,Savio didn’t mention a shit about this?I guess the rest of the class felt the same,we had been taken for a ride by Savio.In fact the straits of hormus is an important channel at the gulf where accounts for the crude oil we need.More than 70% of the world’s consumption of fuel is coming out from that channel.If Iran blocks it off,it is going to be a disaster ,anyway we didn’t know anything about this hormus thingy until after the exam paper and we search through our text.Since that day onwards we call him Captain Sabo.In general he was a good lecturer sharing his knowledge and experiences on found in text books and to think that he is not that freaking old afterall.My respect for him deepens that at his age he has indeed achieve a lot.

2011 closing in

I had almost dedicated the entire of this whole year to education apparently down to the last subject which is chartering.Looking at the time table 4 more lessons than comes the exam.I am all out to just shoot a 50 per cent pass and it would be more than enough,I have been getting Bs all year round and it is time to get busy at work.This will be the last year,like it or not.Get it done and over with.Head for my dreams on the seas in the Marine field,it is never too late if you are willing to learn.There may be some changes,institution is offering double diploma for those with good results.If that happens,it may drag until March 2011.Actually,I am not really interested.One Dip in Maritime Studies is good enough to score me a ticket in navigation on board a vessel.Another Dip in supply chain mgmt and logistics seems to be a steal for 3 months and 1.5k,but it is pretty useless to me.It depends on situation,if the clowns in the class wants to do this,I won’t mind doing it with them.There are some people who make it big in life fast and young,well luck plays a big part in life.Dreams are like destinations,some get there a bit faster,so not so fast but still get there.some never get there at all.It is like getting to a far away place,some people have a plane ticket,some people have a train ticket,some people drive,some people walk,some people choose to give up and not walk the talk at all. well at least I have a ticket by sea.It is slow but it still gets you there.My good friend Ryan told me something many years ago and I still remember it,”There are no failures in life,just quitters.”I read a chinese book about some very successful stock market wizard,I couldn’t agree more when he shares his struggles and experiences.”You must study hard but study the right field” That is true,I wasted shit loads of time on business administration/marketing and getting nowhere. ”You must work very hard,but get the right job”This statement is like enlightenment to me.What the fuck am I doing for the past 15 years?Just becos I wanna wake up any time I want and have my own kind of lifestyle.In actual fact,I get I want most of the time but not a lot of people know I have to work till I die cock stand many a times just to get the job done.Early mornings,late nights,2 to 3 hours of sleep or no sleep at all because you are so physically tired  that you are so worried that once you go to bed,you are going to wake up late and screw things up big time.In fact,I am pretty sure my job fuck up my 2 relationships of 4 and 5 years up,it wasn’t me.I seriously think I am a sucker to woman.They are sensitive creatures and they want a boyfriend who burns every weekend,Xmas eve and new year’s eve at work.No way that is too much,no amount of attention,presents and surprises can make up for this sort of bullshit.Having said that,I am delighted that all this will end soon.I did ask myself many a times.If I wanna work round the clock,I make sure that the dollars and cents is worth it.A dream realised is in the making…..

Family Affairs

Not very long ago,I met my 3rd Uncle,my Dad’s elder brother distributing flyers at China Town MRT station.He seems to be a sorry state,old,broke and homeless.I took out everything in my wallet about $200.00 and push it into his pocket which he tried to refuse a few times before finally accepting it.I left my contact no with him and told him if any need arises please let me know.Pior to this,my sis also met him distributing flyers @ Raffles MRT,she also give him some money for food and expenses.He now rents a 1 room flat from the government for low income earners.As far as I can remember,my uncle is not well off,not educated and makes a living as a cabby.When I was a small boy,I was left in the care of my grandmother together with my uncle as both my parents have to work.When I turn 6,my parents finally save enough money to buy a small flat in Jurong East so I left grandma’s place and shift to Jurong East with my parents.I remember getting into a lot a trouble in school as my dad will beat the hell out of me,I always ran away from home and went to grandma’s place to seek refuge because I know my grandma and uncle will protect me from my dad’s cane as they dote on me a lot despite I was always in the wrong.Uncle also always but Mc Donald’s for me often,back then it is a luxury to have fast food


During Chinese New Year,I have never seen him because he is out driving taxi to make money during this peak season.However,he always have ang pows prepared for all of us,a few years back my dear grandma pass away which made me very sad.I did drugs at the funeral wake which my uncle clearly knew because I was behaving strangely.He pull me aside and told me he knew what I was doing and ask me not to try anything funny because if my dad finds out,he will defintely kill me.Shortly after grandma pass away,he retired after slogging for decades to support his wife and my 2 cousins who is living in Chiang Mai,he sold off his house and took out all his savings,amounting to about 300k.He went back to his family in Chiang Mai to reunite with his family.Just not too long ago,my parents,uncles and aunties went to visit him in Chiang Mai and what I heard if he has land,a nice house and has also rear quite a number of domestic animals for sale. In thailand,it is already considered a good standard of living.I was actually quite happy for him when I heard that,he really deserve to chill out and enjoy his later years.


The sad part is now he is back in Singapore without his family and totally broke.God knows what happen.He rang me up and ask me if I could borrow him $1000 which I could not raise at this time.I told him I can only manage $500 and also told him it is not a loan and he does not need to return it and if anything he needs I am only a phone call away.I am actually very disappointed and angry at the same time,it is totally evil for my 2 thai cousins as well as his wife to forsake their father/husband.I find it unacceptable,what kind of children/wife are they?They took all my uncle’s savings and chase him out of the house.I came from a family of Buddhists,all the way down from my grandparents,uncles,aunties,cousins except for a few cousins which I label as  ”betrayers” who become Christians.As a buddhist, we are suppose to take care of our parents for as long as they live because without them,we won’t be who we are.I really feel like getting some thugs in Thailand to go burn down their house or try to extort my uncle’s money back from his ungrateful children and wife.If they refuse to hand over the money,I will gun them down.I will take this thing into my own hands and I am already trying to contact the mafias down in Thailand to ”fix” this problem.Call me evil,I don’t care.They in the last place are worst than animals so ther is no need to  kind to such people.Don’t wait for heaven to give them their just punishment,I will give it to them.

National Day Celebration @ Wat Ananda

Wat Ananda Thai Buddhist Temple held a National Day Celebration in the temple a month ago,we invited the elderly from old folks home to come to have lunch and to distribute ang pows to them,it is a community project headed by my teacher Vernerable Mahaviro to bring joy to these senior citizens in conjuration with birthday of our country.The community put up a entertainment programme for the folks as well as get monks from all different schools of Buddhism to bless the old folks. Chao Khun Sujin was the chair person for this project,he is also the head monk of the temple as well the head of all thai monks residing in Singapore.The title Chao khun is a special title given by the king of Thailand,King Rama 9 in recognisation of the community and social work both to the public as well the the order of monks.Therefore Chao Khun Sujin is a royal monk under the king’s patronage.
Chao Khun Sujin has been in Singapore for many years is a permenent resident as well,he has just turn 80 this recently but is still healthy and very active in fulfilling his duties as a monk as well as a social worker.I am very lucky to be able to send Chao Khun back to his temple after some prayers at our vihara.On our way,he ask me ‘How old are you young man?’ I said 30 this year venerable sir.Then he asked me ‘Are you married?’ I answered no sir.Then he ask me why young man?
So I told him Sir getting married is expensive in Singapore,house car etc etc I am just a poor chap,a plain joe on the street besides the girl I love doesn’t love me.
The reply I got from Chao Khun is this ‘ Young man, do not be disheartened or disappointed,that is the way life is,there are ups and downs,even as a monk I have also been through up and downs.The most important thing is to be contented and be happy always because is too short.Remember every morning when you wake up,the first thing you should do is thing of the happy think,make yourself happy,start the day happy and life will be good.I am indeed touched by his kind and wise words but sadly I haven’t been able to do that.
Well the ceremony was good and everyone was happy especially the old folks,my parents also came to particpate sharing the joy merit.I have always enjoy doing social work and community service,it is also nice to see smiles on other’s people even at the expenses of my time or money or whatever it is.Our vihara donated $2000.00 from our temple fund to support this project,it is actually the left over funds from our own charity project in our vihara as we gave it all to Wat Ananda.
There were many volunteers mainly the thai people who are here to work or already have families here,they help out with the cooking serving the old folks and monks.There is no difference if you are a Thai or Singaporean,everyone is helping out for a good cause with good intentions.It is very heart warming to see Thai and Singaporeans united offering their services,resources etc etc for our country’s National Day.
Chao Khun Sujin distributing the gifts to th old folks
Venerable Maha Suwong and Venerable Sophia chanting to bless the people who attended the event
This is the view of Wat Ananda from down the hill
Venerable Maha Suwrong and Venerable Sophia my 2 best friends from the vihara I am staying at

My beloved teacher Venerable Mahaviro giving a speech 
The buddha image in the main hall,so elegant and majestic
My teacher and Chao Khun Sujin.Chao Khun is the figure head of all thai monks here,my teacher is his deputy
We also invited monks from other schools to participate on this happy occasion,here are the Lamas from Tibet blessing the people
Mahayana monks chnating and blessing
This is the late Luang Phor Hong the founder of Wat Ananda Thai Buddhist temple,the temple has been around for many many years about 50 odd years,my father is grew up in red hill since he was a boy and have seen how the temple grew from a small attap house to such a big and beautiful temple.It is said that Luang Phor has a high level of spritual attainment.In the olden days.thieves also came and steal things from the temple until one day Luang Phor Hong got a bit upset and cast a spell.The thief came in the night and lost his way in the temple and can’t find his way out.In the end,he went to the abbot and beg for forgiveness,Luang phor forgave him and told him never to steal anything from anywhere again.My father and my teacher can testified to this story.
Mummy and Daddy also came to participate
The national anthem is being played and everyone waving their flags
His excellence the ambassador kicking off the event
Chao Khun Sujin at the ripe age of 80 is still healthy and sharp and involve himself personally for social and community work
HE of Thailand giving his speech
Chao Khun Sujin delivering his speech
The beautifully decorated stage
Two cute and sweet girls in their traditional dress welcoming the VIPs
According to history, Buddhist Lent Day began as a result of villagers complaining to the Lord Buddha. They said that a group of determined monks making merit for Buddhism had walked through their wet rice fields.  The rice fields were thriving and their actions ruined the crop.  As a result, the story is that the Lord Buddha set a rule for all monks to practice making merit while confined to the temples.  Today Buddhist Lent requires all monks to remain confined to their temples or place of residence for a period of 3 months during the rainy season, beginning the first day of the eighth waning moon.
Buddhists are very appreciative of the commitment to Buddhist Lent and are privileged to offer all necessary things such as towels, dry foodstuffs, blankets, etc. This offering includes candles and so we see the origin of the celebrated Candle Festival.  In past times there was no electricity into many temples and the candle has become an important symbolic influence in various ceremonies and in daily use. Also, as the candle signifies wisdom as light; during the Candle Festival people demonstrate their beliefs by offering large and often lavishly decorated candles to the monks.
I have been spending the rain retreat in a vihara this year.Its around 2 months now,I spend my time chanting,meditating,doing the daily chores of the vihara and serving my teacher and other monks.It has been a quiet and peaceful retreat where I find time to reflect on myself and my own actions,it is a self discovery of what my purpose in life is all about?Where does the troubles and problems of daily come from?I made a resolution to the triple gem that if I am unable to find real happiness in my life,I will not leave the vihara under any circumstances even after the rain retreat.Some people believe that if a person encounters problems throughout his worldly life as a lay person,he or she might be destined to renounce worldly affairs ordain as a monk and seek a holy life.Thoughts like this ever come across my mind,how happy it would be to disregard the rest of the world and devoted your entire life to self purification and cultivation.
Throughout the retreat,I begin to appreciate a lot of simple things I never knew,I have always been a chosen eater,I only eat what I like to and I never eat left overs,I have learn to eat what is given to me,its either you eat or starve.As monks only consume a meal before noon.There is no dinner and I can’t eat together with monks,they eat first and I eat what is left.When I come back from work in the evening after do my evening service and chores,I would see what is left from lunch and that will be my dinner.If there is nothing left,I eat fruits or biscuits.Sometimes devotees will take the monks out for lunch offering which means they don’t do any cooking at all,so for that day no food in the evening for me at all.
I usually wake up at 7 plus to wash up,prepare the altar for the morning service which starts at 9am.I also have to make coffee and some light refreshments for my teacher and other monks.Then I have to do my laundry by hand,no washing machine.At home I do even have to do anything,mummy will do everything for me and I sleep till lunch time.
Well this is the vihara which I stay,little cosy but peaceful place
This is the buddha image in my room
A nice buddha image in the front lawn,I will usually make tea after the evening service and have a chat with the monks before we retire to our rooms.
This is sky,my teacher’s Husky
Steam sweet potatos sometimes I have it for breakfast or dinner,simple and easy to prepare and most importantly filling,
that is Duncan,my teacher’s rockweller
This is one of the best lunch I have ever eaten since my stay,as my teacher is a Peranakan and is a great cook,the babi ponteh is simpler wonderful,fresh petai is good as well.Our food is usually very very simple as you can see
Vernerable Sophia preparing tom yam noodle,simple and nice.
This is Vernerable Sophia in his room surfing on his note book,at the age of 24 he has been in monkhood for 10 years since 14.He is especially talented,he is from Cambodia and just graduated from a Buddhist University last year with a degree majoring in Mahayana Buddhism.He can speak and write fluent thai and english,he is currently studying in MDIS here pursuing a Degree majoring in HR.The tuition fees and all the expenses are all taken care of by my teacher and the combined effort of our members.My teacher strongly believes that education is very very important even for monks.   
This is my bedroom,no bed no air con just a simple mat on the floor.